It’s the first week I haven’t seen you since we met
I’ve seen someone else
Once I started weighing my options, you said you missed me
I’m glad I found you, but would you work to stay?
Cause I’m moving even farther away
You said you didn’t know what you were after but it’s not just sex
You said, “you make my soul smile” then act like it’s not complex
We manifest a bed of roses and go our separate ways
I’m pushing 25, boy
Make my life, not my day
I hope you’re not so distant as the one before
I like the mood and the touch, but there has to be more
Without your dark emotions, you’ve lost me to the ocean
I’m the rogue morena siren
Singing to admire
I’ll kill you with kindness
Not going under but higher
Sometimes your eyes look so cross
Unimpressed, lack of rest, all care lost
Other times they’re full to the brim
Projecting and reflecting, oh green world within
I don’t mind at all being something different
Never what’s expected
I’m always something better
You got something tender
We’ll bring it out together
You and me, inevitably, are gonna face some fucking weather
I’ll take your hand as you took mine, and kiss it til surrender
Hit the ground running with me
Cause I keep moving forward
I don’t have time to start from scratch
I’ve been there and lived that
It’s not pretty, I’m not going back
To get all of me, you have to know how to act
And if you don’t want it all, then find a different track
I’m tired of having the void filled for the night
It doesn’t feel right
No one can care enough or do it just how I like
I know it takes time to find that feeling again
I know it’s different with every person
I tried, I thought it was there
A few times
These people seem to just have their intentions
But what I have is love, respect, and ambitions
Do I have to do all this on my own?
If that’s how it is, well that’s how it’s gonna be
I can’t make you understand the kind of man I need
Good looks and good fucks are not enough for me
I got tired of waiting around for it to manifest
I sought it out, I pursued what I thought was best
No one loves me like I do, so fuck the rest
I’m a force to be fucking reckoned with
A caliber you’ve never seen
Feeling it is a thousand times more rare
But you won’t have slight knowledge unless you’re worthy
Worthy to fight with me and accept defeat
I work like magic
It’s too precious to be wielded by anyone but a god
Predisposed for my wrath, and hysterically seeking it out
A fervent goddess
Why does all the best, pertinent knowledge fly out the window once the sadness hits?
It just goes dark.
The next day, I remember. I’m grateful and level.
But when the sadness slips in, it consumes the goodness in its path and there is only dark.
No clear thinking, no memory of the things that get me through it.
And it’s a domino effect, no question.
If it starts here, it can start anywhere.
Paranoia loves uncertainty, and I’ve never been that decisive.
I feel all I can do is adapt, put forth effort, and hope for something positive.